


End It

by brdbee



Series: Can't Let Go [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: M/M, angSSTT, but the world needs, devil yang hyunsucks, fics so ifight me ok, gimme tHE BITSSSSS, got sad and didn't finsih it properly, i jsut, this was supposed, to be something but then, topri, uhmhmhgmhmUHMM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 18:36:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6621733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brdbee/pseuds/brdbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seunghyun shouldn't have let himself be careless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	End It

        Seunghyun was dying. He had to be. He could only feel his head pounding and chest aching. He couldn't remember the last time he drank enough to give himself a hangover. Unfortunately, he remembered the reason why he had started to drink the night before. Just to make sure it hadn't all been a dream, he unlocked his phone and checked the last text message he'd received from the company. His chest squeezed, upset over the fact that what should have stayed a fond memory was suddenly soiled. Still, he couldn't help smiling slightly at the tilt of Seungri's lips in the picture. That's the way he wanted to remember Seungri. Smiling.

        In the picture, the first one, they just stood outside talking. Seunghyun remembered their playful banter. Seungri kept teasing him about his dancing onstage. Seunghyun was laughing because truth be told the only two reasons he had for doing that nowadays was to amuse Seungri and VIP. He was glad it was working. They were comfortable together just standing there, leaning against the gates of Seungri's building. It was dark but Seunghyun could see Seungri's brown eyes clearly in front of him. They seemed to be shimmering slightly, and Seunghyun fooled himself into thinking that stars were reflecting in his them even though heavy clouds hung over them. He supposed that was the beauty of being in love. Seunghyun could see wonderful things even when they were not there.

        They had trusted the darkness, stepping closer to each other every few minutes and Seungri had started to blink quickly like he did whenever he was nervous or just too excited. Seunghyun was distracted by his eyelashes, kicking his shoe gently against Seungri's. It was too much. Seungri was too much right at that moment. Seunghyun really couldn't help leaning down just slightly and closer to Seungri, pressing their lips together lightly. He watched as Seungri's eyes fluttered shut slowly, his lips curving into that cat smile Seunghyun  was so obsessed with. Seunghyun wasn't planning to take it further than that chaste kiss, but ever since they had crossed this line in their relationship a few months ago he couldn't help himself. His hand had slid behind Seungri's neck, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into Seungri's mouth to tangle them together. He regretted the fact that this time he couldn't spend the night pressed against Seungri, watching him sleep as his insomnia ran rampant.

        When they broke away from the kiss, Seungri had pursed his lips together, his head bowing shyly. They muttered their goodbyes and Seunghyun turned to walk back to the car that was waiting for him around the corner. It was just like every other night after a day spent together. And things were uneventful for a few days. Both of them hanging out together backstage, teasing, joking, and playing stupid mobile games Seungri found. When Seunghyun had been called into Hyunsuk's office he didn't think anything big of it. Maybe they were going to hand him over some new scripts to look over, maybe they would finally have the big talk about when his enlistment would be. That wasn't what happened. And he should have known when he saw Seungri in the elevator, watching him stare blankly at the floor with wide eyes. He should have known something terrible was about to happen but Seunghyun didn't have time to ask him because once Seungri realized the doors had opened he snapped out of his thoughts and walked past Seunghyun briskly, ignoring Seunghyun's call.

        Instead Seunghyun sat down, his heart dropping further into his stomach each time another picture was slapped in front of him on the desk. He hated the glossy look of them, hated the fact that the darkness hadn't actually covered them from outside eyes, hated the fact that they had caught their faces in such quality that there was no way it could be mistaken who was in the pictures. Hated how they had captured Seungri's smile so well and the clear feeling there. The one they had been nursing for a few months now, keeping safe. Seunghyun couldn't believe he had allowed them to let their guard down. Even if it had only been for one second.

        Now he understood why Seungri had been so cold as he walked away, why he had been in such a hurry to get out of the hallway, why he didn't meet Seunghyun's eyes when they probably would have stopped before to say teasing things to each other. To mock one another for being in and out of this office so often when they were doing things they weren't supposed to do. At least Seunghyun's visits had cut down some once people realized he was just that way when he posted pictures on his Instagram.

        "End it."

        That was all the CEO said, glaring at him from across the desk and Seunghyun felt his heart squeeze painfully. End it? Why should he do something like that? Couldn't Hyunsuk himself fix the problem? Make it go away?

        "Or else."

        _Or else_ what _?_

        "Excuse me."

        Had he said that out loud? He swallowed once and stood abruptly, grabbing his coat and running out of the office. Maybe he could still catch Seungri. Maybe he could change things. Maybe he could make Seungri see some type of reason because the way Seungri had acted in the hallway made it clear to him that Seungri would end it. And why wouldn't he? He was noble. He would look after Seunghyun first before thinking about his own feelings. He would want to protect Seunghyun and everything he had worked for.

        When he caught Seungri in the parking lot he couldn't make a scene. There were fans across the street, yelling at them to look over but Seungri's eyes were lowered, stuck to the keys in his hands as he fumbled with them. Seunghyun had never seen Seungri shake so badly, the poor maknae had probably heard worse than Seunghyun did in that meeting. Seunghyun reached out, grabbing the keys from Seungri and opening his car door for him.

        "Let's talk..." he mumbled quietly, standing to the side.

        "Don't make your driver wait, hyung," Seungri said tightly, his voice choking and shaking slightly.

        "Maybe you shouldn't drive in this condition, Seungriyah," Seunghyun said carefully, letting Seungri climb into the drivers seat anyway, watching as he turned on the ignition and took a deep breath. His shoulders relaxed when he saw Seungri's shaking come to a halt.

        "I'll be careful," Seungri said, closing the door.

        Seunghyun sent Seungri a few text messages in the following days. All of them asking him if he wanted to hang out, talk, go for a drink, eat something. Seungri didn't reply to any of them, but Seunghyun knew he read them because each time he went to send a new message he saw the small notification saying so. If Seunghyun knew Seungri as well as he thought he did, he knew Seungri was just gathering up the courage to do what he was told to do. And Seunghyun simply couldn't stand that fact. He thought of seeking him out himself a few times, but he thought he shouldn't impose on Seungri that way. If Seungri wanted to see him, he would have. If Seungri wanted to see him, Seunghyun knew he was even capable of jumping into a plane and traveling a few hours to another country just so the two of them could share a drink.

        When Seunghyun's phone finally rang with Seungri's ringtone, he was suddenly afraid to answer. He stared at the name and picture of the maknae flashing on his phone's screen. Seungri's face was full of joy in that picture. Seungri's eyes were sparkling in a way they only did when he was with Seunghyun. Seungri's smile was so wide Seunghyun had teased him about his lips splitting if it got any wider. Seungri had only laughed harder at Seunghyun's words back then.

        He watched as the screen faded to black before grabbing his phone, knowing it would ring again because Seungri wasn't one to leave messages when there was something important he had to say. He swallowed once when the phone began to vibrate in his hand and answered, keeping quiet.

        "Hyung?"

        "..."

        "Hyung, let's stop this now."

        "..."

        "Let's stop now... okay?"

        Seunghyun couldn't find his voice, his lips twisting into a painful expression. He waited because he could still hear that static coming from the speaker, he could still hear Seungri breathe slightly, until the maknae let out a soft sigh and whispered sorry, before the line died. As soon as it happened, Seunghyun turned to his bar and grabbed as many bottles as he could hold. His phone buzzed again a few times and he only took a moment to open the messages, watching the pictures pop one after the other from the management team at YG. A reminder of why he would never let his guard down again. A reminder of how he couldn't love anything or anyone because it could all be taken from him in a split second.

        If he was feeling this way, Seunghyun could only imagine the state Seungri was in.


End file.
